7 Types of Toxic Bosses— Tips for understanding and dealing with a boss who keeps you down. May 5, 2018 by Sonia Johnson In a riff on the word “frenemy,” the word “bossemy” was developed to describe this complicated form of workplace relationship in which the person who greatly influences your success seems to have sabotage on the brain. Here are 7 types of bossemies that can make work more stressful than it needs to be. Bossemy #1: Office Royalty Nothing is too good and nothing is good enough for this boss. “Office royalty” narcissistically and genuinely believe that they deserve deferential treatment and blind adoration from others, whether they are leading the company or just stepping onto the corporate ladder. If you report directly to office royalty, objectively and accurately evaluate this person’s “global and local influence” on your own career success. Remember, though, that no one should be expected to ‘bow and scrape’ to anyone beyond the normal limits of respectful, professional behavior. Doing your job well is encouraged, but being expected to provide strawberries and cream is a little over the top. Bossemy #2: The Diva This boss is willing to work a team full speed non-stop, but quickly step up to bask in the praise that the team, itself, rightfully deserved. Divas often demand obsequious obedience from staff who may respond in a wide variety of ways. Some may bask in the limelight if favored with a smile; others may ask, “How high?” if asked to jump; others may yawn, scratch their heads, and wonder what all the fuss is about; and still other may feel resentment at the arrogant audacity of a diva. When the diva is truly top dog, it can be especially frustrating if there is no choice but to meet the diva’s needs or satisfy her whims to keep from rocking the boat too strongly. Patience at work, patient friends with whom you can kvetch, and the ability to keep a firm work/life balance are all helpful in dealing with the work place divas you encounter. Bossemy #3: The Stealth Bomber Stealth bombers are dangerous bosses as they can spot weaknesses, plan attacks, and exact retribution and revenge for even imagined slights. If you report to this type of boss, keep your eyes on the prize and your work ethic clear. If your boss tries to set up in-fighting within a team, don’t allow yourself to be drawn into the ring. Show your colleagues respect, give your best on the job, and find ways to build up team morale and group cohesion outside of the workplace, if possible. When a team is united, it is a lot more difficult for stealth bombers to isolate one member to target for a strike. If you are a target of a stealth bombing boss, make sure you keep solid documentation of any related incidents as well as your solid performance. Bossemy #4: The Whiner Working alongside a whiner is wearing on the nerves, working for a whiner is even worse. If your supervisor is making you miserable with his own misery, you may need to learn how to practice “smiling meditation” or “eyes-open/ears-closed meditation” when he is on a roll of lamentations. As an employee, knowing the triggers and doing what you can, if anything, to protect your boss from them is helpful. No matter how crazy a boss can make you, remember that your boss is still your boss. Doing what you can to contribute to operational success makes everyone look good. Bossemy #5: The Pleaser You are much more likely to work beside than for a pleaser, as pleasers are unlikely to move too far up the chain of command. Pleasers seldom send out signals of having management skills, as they seem to spend their time trying to please the managers to whom they report. If you report to a pleaser, you may find yourself working long hours towards impossibly optimistic deadlines as your boss tries to please upper level management by agreeing to unrealistic demands. Maybe you can initiate a “heart-to-heart” with the boss sharing your concerns about failing to deliver on impractical promises. Pleasers typically like to please both their own bosses as well as their staff members, so your feedback may actually be taken to heart. Bossemy #6: The Scandalmonger Most everyone likes to be “in the know” on the job. Unfortunately, your “inside connection” may be more of a scandalmonger than a trustworthy confidante. If your boss is your “go-to-guy,” this can present a double-edged sword. If your boss shares inside information about impending organizational changes, it can be professionally helpful. Knowing what is coming down the pike can help you plan for career moves that propel you closer to your overarching professional goals. However, some bosses pump employees for updates on what is happening at their level or, perhaps even more risky for employees, in their lives. You may feel torn between being candid or cautious with your boss. Choose the path that protects your own long-term investments over those of others or of the organization. Remember that your boss may have the latest newsflash about the company, but may be spilling the scoop on someone’s secrets that were shared in confidence. If you have shared your own personal updates, the news the boss is sharing with others may very well be your own. Bossemy #7: The Outright Bully In the workplace, bullying may be practiced differently depending on the bully’s gender. Women frequently use much more “defensible” or “subliminal” methods of bullying colleagues. They know how to be mean in such a way that men might not even recognize a bully-shot was fired. Facial expressions, glares, passive aggressive actions, and back-handed compliments are examples of how women will bully their co-workers. Men may use office pranks, verbal harassment, and other more overt behaviors. Dealing with workplace bullies can be an exhausting job and can lead to physical as well as emotional stress. Unfortunately, the power hierarchy may facilitate the bullying of employees by supervisors who are prone to this behavior. Women are at an especial disadvantage, as few women are trained to confront those who harm them and this makes them easy targets for their tormentors. If you feel you are being bullied, immediately begin documenting what is happening between you and the bully. Because many bullies have seldom been confronted about their behavior – from childhood into adulthood – calling them on the behavior may lead to a resolution. Left unchecked, bullies typically don’t stop on their own – they may move from target to target, but the bullying tends to continue. If you feel that sexual harassment is even a small part of the bullying from the onset, immediately file a complaint with your human resources department. The Five O’Clock Whistle We typically spend more waking hours with the people with whom we work than with our families, loved ones, or friends. When you are on the job, remember that it is just a job. No job should be the measure of your worth and no job should come before your own well-being. Because you cannot change anyone’s behavior but your own, focus on doing what you can to build up your own self-esteem, professionalism, and commitment to success. This is a lot more healthy than dreaming of ways to retaliate against a boss. In summary, when dealing with a toxic boss, be sure to thoroughly document what is happening. Next, consider a face-to-face meeting with your boss to discuss your concerns — keep your cool and stay objective, if a meeting occurs. If this doesn’t work out, contact your HR department to seek resolution. And if the situation is beyond repair, your commitment to your own professional growth will benefit your search for a new job, if needed. Culled From Psychology Today Authored by Suzanne Degges White PhD
After The Elections- How To Boost Cohesiveness At Work November 15, 2016 by Sonia Johnson It appears this election has been one of the most exhausting in our history. Many Presidential Historians and Unaffiliated Political Analysts, have also declared that our election results were extremely unique, because of the massive focus on class based, racial and regional voting divides. In addition, according to most unaffiliated researchers, based on existing data, there is a massive difference in the electorates beliefs and perception about the President elect, Donald Trump. The other candidate, Hillary Clinton, had she been elected, it appears from data and research, would have engendered the same massive differences in beliefs and perceptions. It appears that emotions after the elections are extreme, and swing in either direction–joy or fury. I enjoin everyone to maintain an open mind, and eagerly expect GOOD outcomes over time, as opposed to embracing extreme fear or unwarranted anger. Many employees sincerely believe that we have elected a president who finally represents the older and greater version of America, with its strong values and familiar societal structure. Other employees believe that his election represents a return to Jim Crow hate, and an embrace of modern methods of “lynching” minority groups by discrimination and other violations. These are ALL perceptions at this time. Yes, a lot of negative things were posited during the elections, but nothing as happened at this time to engender a emotional hysteria of any sort. Instead have an attitude of positive expectation. That is the better approach to all change. It is unwise to allow your life to be driven by untested assumptions– regarding events which have not occurred. According to reporting during the elections, both candidates were both hugely imperfect in historic proportions. Therefore, based on statistics, data and reporting collected during the elections, it appears that we would have elected a very polarizing figure, no matter who was selected. However, ours is a strong democracy, and the candidate chosen by the majority wins. Great Nationalist Leader or a polarizing president elect, no matter your analysis or belief, the fundamental goal is to prevent any election based polarization, from fracturing our workplaces. Political polarization at work, generally creates an unhealthy culture of fear and suspicion— which often results in long term conflict, and measurably reduced productivity. Here are some guidelines for boosting organizational and employee growth, healing and collaboration. To foster a spirit of peace and teamwork, the outcome of the elections/change should be addressed in a practical and effective manner: Train managers on how to discuss the outcomes of the election with employees. Their job is to explain that the election is part of a democracy, and that is the American way. Despite the conspiracy theories of Russian manipulation of election results making its rounds in many offices, there is no valid proof of it! Someone had to win at every level, and someone did. Acknowledge the feelings of fear and concern of minorities— especially fears by members of certain religious groups, people from other countries, temporary immigrant workers, women and people of color. The assurance to these employees from religious and minority groups should be predicated on our Constitution and Organizational Fairness/Justice— as embodied in organizational policies and the Law. Employees should also be reminded that America has a justice system, in which people can seek redress in event of injustice at work, or away from work. Mandate training on implicit and explicit bias as soon as possible, and continue it on a regular and scheduled basis. Based on the data obtained from such implicit and explicit bias training, continue providing tools to executives and all employees, to enable them recognize their biases and overcome them. PS: We ALL have Implicit Biases, not because we are bad people, but because we are human. Do not dissuade people from exercising their Constitutional rights to stage protests AWAY from work. Yes, we recognize the right to protest against whatever injustice an employee perceives has occurred in the election, however, this cannot be staged, at work. Be active and proactive in eradicating fear, despair and conflict. Focus on team building, kindness projects and other activities to enhance cohesiveness and trust. Strongly encourage an awareness among your supervisors, about the possibility of a general perception by employees of of the work environment as biased, corrupt and non-inclusive. Monitor religious freedoms at work. This is one of the most polarizing issues of this election, and it cannot be ignored—because it could have measurable consequences on employee productivity, organizational profits, and teamwork. In the past day, we have been contacted about a few instances where Documented Indian employees have been deliberately and wrongly been informed by supervisors, that they should await deportation. Such threats are wrong, and actionable, and employees who make such threats should be disciplined. The workplace should not be one of fear, otherwise it has a domino effect on other employees, and work processes. Our humanity does not cease when we are at work. Successful and Progressive Human Resources Professionals, recognize that high performing teams view employees as humans first. The jubilation, wounds and fears from this long and exhausting election, must be addressed with employees for a healing process at work. Otherwise, over time, unaddressed tension will create toxicity in the organizational culture, and could reduce productivity and collaboration at work. Despite the sometimes extreme rhetoric about certain groups during this election, let us remember they were made during a political environment, in an election campaign. Remind employees that the Law, Regulations and Organizational Policies regarding equal treatment, are Constitutionally guaranteed. Based on historical antecedents, political rhetoric, no matter how strange, do not always translate into adverse action against particular groups in our society. We are a nation of Laws. The most efficient way to work and live, is to face the future with hope, optimism and excitement. Do not feed on fear, hate and hysteria, it is damaging to do so. Do not make negative assumptions about your fellow employees, no matter what candidates or ballot initiatives they supported. Instead, rise above the negative chatter, and be positive and collaborative at work. Whether you decide to be positive during times of change, is a CHOICE, your choice. For your success and joy at work and away from work, we encourage you not to focus on uncertainty. Change brings some uncertainty, it is always does. This is no different. Instead of worry, gloating or fear, expect the BEST of this change. Be buoyed by your hope, and uplifted by your unwavering ability to create success for yourself and others. Drive the events in your life positively, daily. Be unstoppable. Be hopeful, Be strong, Be HUMANE. I wish you well.
How To Thrive In A Toxic Work Environment October 24, 2016 by Sonia Johnson One of the things that I do in the course of my work is to restructure Human Resources departments, upgrade the performance of Employee Relations and Compliance professionals, Resolve Conflicts, review and use HR analytics, and do all that is required to make these (and related) departments provide measurable financial returns and growth for the organization and employees. In the course of my job, I am sometimes hired in to work with very toxic executives, and/or within incredibly toxic environments. I thrive on the challenge of making these organizations become healthy and profitable for all, so it is a great fit for me. Within the toxic organizations, some employees, despite the chaos and unhealthy culture, thrive and remain happy and optimistic. Conversely, some employees fall apart in such environments. In some instances they fall ill, get depressed and are perennially sad. It is important to note that over time, toxic environments, for the most part, have a very negative effect on most employees, and affect the organization as a whole, negatively. Over the past 15-years, we have documented many of the methods used by individuals that continue to thrive despite the utter toxicity in their workplace. We have listed three successful guidelines for thriving in a toxic environment: 1. Create an Exit Plan first. Keep learning new courses, participating in different projects, and staying current and engaged in your profession. Continue to bolster your resume, and stay active in professional organizations within your field. In addition, stay connected virtually and in person with individuals within your area of expertise as you continue to work on your exit plan. Your exit plan is needed for your psychological health. The knowledge that you created, and continue to create strategies and viable options to enable you leave the toxic environment reduces your anxiety, and provides you with confidence even as you work within such toxicity. 2. Whether you are an executive or not, you can be a part of the solution. Being a part of the solution will enable you feel less helpless and more in control. Create your safe zone in which you can craft your work to the best extent that you can, in a manner that works for you. Seek out interesting projects to work on, and take care of your physical and mental health. Avoid the naysayers and those that constantly remind you of the “horror” you are enduring. If the conversations about a toxic manager or your toxic environment are not solution based, do not participate in it. You are doing yourself no favors being a part of such discussions, as they create a greater feeling of desperation and helplessness. Discuss solutions and not the problem. 3. Determine if you are a part of the problem, and if your are, change your attitude. I once worked with a very senior executive, a Chief Operations Officer, who spent a lot of her time sharing intimate information about her supervisors and subordinates with us. She was very saddened, at least according to her, that the organization was full of disengaged staff, and was failing financially. Yet she was a major contributor to the continued chaos and instability within the company. She worked with us on some projects and discussed employees lives with disregard, shared damaging, defamatory and destructive information, and all the time when cautioned, insisted that she was just giving us a “heads up”– she was not. This very senior executive promoted and encouraged an environment of gossiping and infighting within her rank and below. The executive team was a mirror of her conduct; gossiping, maligning and undervaluing employees was an integral part of their mode of operation. They were destroying the very employees they sought to engage. Once we identified this executive was the primary driver of this toxic and odoriferous culture, we set about changing her conduct, and that of the other senior executives. The good news is that with coaching and training, today, she has limited her gossiping, and the culture of virulent backbiting, gossiping and disengagement has been largely limited, as the organization continues to try to build its trust among its employees. There are many other ways of surviving in a toxic environment. However, the most critical of these methods lie within YOU. You must daily resolve not to become a part of that culture. Once you recognize that you have been hired within a toxic and damaging organization, accelerate all your self awareness and self efficacy abilities. You have to be true to yourself, and preserve your mind so it does not become sullied by the stench and ravages of corporate dysfunction. Do not subject yourself to more than two years of working within such environments, if nothing changes for the better. After two years, we have found that employees begin to accept this very low quality of their work life as their new normal, and many become despondent, or full of loathing for their jobs. You deserve a good and happy work life. Over the years, I have lost count of people whose health and lives improved “magically” once they left the toxic environments and started work in more functional environments. Your life and time should be spent in an environment in which you are valued, and with people with whom you share similar professional goals. A functional environment should be paramount on your mind when interviewing for a job. You deserve the best life you can possibly get for you. Don’t waste too much of your life fighting toxicity. If things change, be a part of it. If things don’t change despite your efforts, and you have tried your best, be courageous, make plans and leave. You can live a happy life. Do it. I wish you well. *No Permission to reproduce in full or part granted without the Approval of Author