The 20 People Skills You Need To Succeed At Work April 5, 2018 by Sonia Johnson Do you think you’re qualified for a particular job, fit to lead a team, or entitled to a promotion because you have extensive experience and highly developed technical skills? Well, it turns out that while those things are crucial to your professional success, it’s imperative that you also have great soft skills–more commonly known as “people skills.” “People skills are, in short, the various attributes and competencies that allow one to play well with others,” explains says David Parnell, a legal consultant, communication coach and author. “While on the surface these may be summed up by notions such as ‘likeability,’ or having a ‘good personality,’ when you start to look at what makes one ‘likable,’ for instance, you’ve opened Pandora ‘s Box.” But more often than not, these attributes come in the form of effective, accurate and persuasive communication, he says. Teri Hockett, chief executive of What’s For Work?, a career site for women, agrees. She says: “People skills come down to how people interact with each other, from a verbal and/or non-verbal perspective; they are non-technical in nature. When we think of people skills, words such as personality, empathy, and tonality come to mind.” The Forbes E-book: Find And Keep Your Dream Job The Definitive Careers Guide From Forbes encompasses every aspect of the job hunt from interview to promotion. Written by some of Forbes’ best careers and leadership writers, it is available now for download. Having good people skills means maximizing effective and productive human interaction to everyone’s benefit, says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant; How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job. “People want to connect on a humane level in the office; the alternative is a sterile environment with low productivity. So, the more you demonstrate these abilities, the faster your career will advance. It’s the ‘office diplomats’ with strong emotional intelligence who are most likely to be strong, effective corporate leaders. They realize that trusting relationships built on diplomacy and respect are at the heart of both individual success and corporate productivity. An ounce of people sensitivity is worth a pound of cure when it comes to daily human interaction and mitigating conflict. By developing these skills, you’ll reduce bad behavior in the office, and your positive approach will be contagious.” Wise managers know that they need a team with strong people skills, she adds. “Given the choice between a savvy job candidate or, similarly, an employee seeking promotion – the one with excellent people skills and less technical ability will usually win the prize versus the converse.” Having good people radar is harder to teach than technical skills, but is a requisite for long term, effective leadership, she says. YOU MAY ALSO LIKE Courtyard Hotels BrandVoice Transforming Students Into Entrepreneurs [Video] Forbes Insights Going Digital? Your Firstline Workers Will Pave Your Way To Success Whittier Trust BrandVoice Helping Yourself By Helping Others [VIDEO] Here are 20 “people skills” and attributes you’ll need to succeed at work: The ability to relate to others. “Having the ability to relate to others and their position or viewpoint is crucial in business,” Hockett says. “By having a well-rounded personality and set of experiences, it’s usually possible to relate to almost anyone.” Sometimes being able to relate to others simply means that you’re willing to agree to disagree with mutual respect; letting them know you understand their position. Strong communication skills. This is the most fundamental people skill because it encompasses your persona and ability to get along with other colleagues, persuade others to listen to your ideas, and much more, Taylor says. “If you have a gift for the spoken and written word, you will always put your best foot forward. Being articulate is highly prized in today’s workplace, when time is at a premium and technology requires constant communication.” Parnell says articulation is a very important “people skill.” “Illusory transparency refers to the notion that as we speak to others, we believe that they are of the same mindset as us, and are processing things exactly as we would. Even if this were possible – which it’s not – it would be incredibly challenging because of semantic ambiguity,” he explains. “Universal quantifiers for instance – all, any, every, etc. – are systematic violations of accurate communication in that they are rarely true in a literal sense, and leave significant room for translation. Effective communicators are very careful to understand these systematic violations, and avoid them or accommodate them when necessary.” Patience with others. “If you’re patient with others and can keep a level head in stressful situations, it will definitely be noticed by management and perceived as a very strong asset,” says Amy Hoover, president of Talent Zoo. “When your boss is forced to deal with a situation where people have lost their cool he or she will certainly remember the troublemakers when the next promotion comes available.” The ability to trust others. You can only accelerate your career if you’re trustworthy. “Without it, you can’t get projects done or get cooperation,” Taylor says. “No one can operate in a vacuum for long.” Knowing how and when to show empathy. “Having the ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes is a key people skill,” says Ryan Kahn, a career coach, founder of The Hired Group, star of MTV’s Hired! and author of Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad. It allows us to create relationships with others, provides insights into people’s motives and allows us to predict responses. “Offer support, sympathy and feedback in your daily business life,” Taylor suggests. “It will bring you positive emotional returns – part of ‘corporate karma.’” If you contribute to a dehumanized company, both you and your employer will have limited growth potential, she says. Hockett reminds us that things are not always black and white, and in order to have effective relationships with others we need to show compassion where appropriate. “In a perfect world there would be no hiccups, but life happens and knowing when to show compassion when others face challenges is important.” Active listening skills. Hearing someone and actively listening to them are two different things, Hockett explains. Most people hear someone speak and start to form a response in their mind (or worse, starting talking) before the person finishes what they’re saying. “The key is to actively listen, which takes more time but produces better results. It means you listen without interruption and then take the time to think and form a response before replying. It takes practice, but it pays off.” Taylor says the axiom “we were given two ears and one mouth” speaks volumes. “Be a good listener and remain sensitive to the needs of your workers and boss. This people skill can be practiced; and once honed, you’ll see the difference in the positive reaction of those around you.” Genuine interest in others. People know when you’re truly interested in them, Kahn says. “If you’re not showing a genuine interest – asking thoughtful questions and considering about their answers – your interaction can actually have an opposite effect to the one intended. Take care to remember names, dates and important life events.” Flexibility. Being “likable” or having a “good personality” are highly contingent and context dependant attributes, Parnell explains. “Your prison-bound uncle’s personality may not be likeable at the Thanksgiving table, but it may serve him well once incarcerated. Supreme communicators have a keen ability to shift gears when the context calls for it, and a deep well of communication options to choose from. This way, they can respond accordingly to what the current situation requires.” Taylor agrees. She adds: “If you can bend your own rules and beliefs, you are by definition a ‘good people person.’” Good judgment. Good judgment is a key people skill that comes directly from learning, listening to others and observing the world around you, Kahn says. “It allows you to wisely select friends and associates, determine reactions and responses, and make sound decisions.” Parnell adds: “Pay attention to your gut – it often has something valuable to say.” The ability to persuade others. There’s a good chance that at some point in your career you’ll have to sell others on your ideas, products or services. Whether you’re up for a promotion, pitching a project, or selling clothing in a retail store, you need to be able to form a strong, convincing argument for why you, or your products, are the very best, or the “right” one. Negotiation skills. Good negotiating skills are beneficial with both internal and external discussions, Hoover says. “Internally, job offers and salary discussions greatly benefit from solid negotiating, as well as when it’s time to pitch a new idea or sway coworkers to your way of thinking. Externally, both vendors and customers often require negotiations and you can really become the hero when you are successful in either scenario.” The ability to keep an open mind. “To create trust and respect in others, people need to know that their point of view and feedback will be considered and used,” Kahn says. Being known as someone who keeps an open mind also makes you more approachable and easier to work with. A great sense of humor. “Who doesn’t enjoy laughing? It’s ‘the great diffuser’ of tension and conflict. If you can jam the system of tension or routine with levity, you will thrive in your job,” Taylor says. “It was once said that ‘nobody ever died of laughter,’ and if you can retain some lightheartedness in your job, you’re likely to get more air time during meetings and overall.” Knowing your audience. Knowing what, how, and when to say things to others is critical. For example, if someone just loss their job, it’s probably not a good idea to talk about your promotion. This seems trivial, but it’s one of the primary reasons why people encounter communication breakdowns with each other, Hockett explains. Honesty. The saying, “honesty is the best policy” is not only true, it’s essential in building trust among your colleagues, Taylor says. “Once you lose it, it’s almost impossible to regain. Kahn agrees and says people want to work with those that they know they can trust. “Honesty is the foundation of any relationship, particularly in business.” Awareness of body language. The importance of body language cannot be emphasized enough, since it makes up the majority of how we communicate with others. “The reality is, we’re communicating with people all the time even when we’re not speaking. Being mindful of what our gestures, expressions, voice, and appearance are communicating can greatly help or harm our people skills,” Hockett says. Proactive problem solving. Work is a series of problem solving situations, but if you’re proactive, you’ll take the pressure off your boss and colleagues, Taylor says. This is a great people skill to have in the workplace. Leadership skills. If you can motivate a team and help those around you do their best work, you’ll be more successful even if you’re not in management, Hoover says. Good manners. “Using ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ goes a long way in the realm of people skills,” Taylor explains. While seemingly obvious, some need little reminders. Keeping a post it with a smile or another icon can remind us that work is more than getting something accomplished, it’s how we get it accomplished. The ability to be supportive and motivate others. “People want others to believe in them, regardless of how successful they might be. By showing support in the form of encouragement, you can put someone back on track or keep them headed in the right direction,” Hockett explains. Taylor says: “Not only should you praise and recognize your staff, all the while being accessible and upbeat. You should also be motivational around your boss and colleagues. Employees at all levels want to be around enthusiastic people with drive and high energy.” “When workers know how to conduct themselves with people sensitivity, their career outlook is much more enhanced,” Taylor says. “Employees who are aware of the ‘human factor’ in the workplace understand how to get things done.” Assuming the work is satisfying, it’s how people feel at work that will determine their loyalty and contributions. Hockett concludes: “Nowadays many of us live in two worlds, the real and digital one. Make sure that your people skills are consistent across both.” –Article From Forbes (By Jacquelyn Smith)
Stop Being Afraid, It Is Not Your Only Option May 24, 2017 by Sonia Johnson You are probably totally disengaged from your job, if you do not recognize the concern and undercurrent fear or concern of certain folks in the workplace. Human Resources Departments that have not conducted a culture and health check survey of employees in the light of new Legislation and the Social Media rumor mill, are close to committing professional malpractice in terms of their expected obligations to their employers and employees. Collection and review of cultural, performance and other related analytics, in times of internal and external change remains a mandatory practice, for effective Human Resources and Organizational Business success. The news media is replete with the usual sensationalism and hysteria. However, the underlying mood in many organizations has changed. And although the change is not immediately evident to some; the use of surveys and other methods of evidence analysis and related statistical review, will enable your organization to effectively prevent the permanent injection of this damage into the foundation of your workplace. A colleague with whom I have a great working relationship, a woman, recently wanted to know how I had made my way out of my family generational financial difficulties?? In addition, she also asked me about a litany of stereotypical assumptions, rife in some repeated sensational news cycles, about minorities of color. She assumed they applied in general, and specifically to me. She told me she thought that the wretched background sprinkled with a few successes, was the truth about most minority groups. We both laughed about it, after we discussed her untested assumptions and researched various verified statistical data, and robust evidence on the issue. She is a very kind and well-meaning colleague, but did not recognize how some repeated falsehoods from media outlets, and other untested generalizations, had crept into her implicit thought process. As we talked, I told her that both my parents are Lawyers. My grandparents were educated and very financially stable. Even further back than my grandparents, my family possesses a record of consistent and muscular education, hard work and documented financial success. My friends and I, many people of color, and large swaths of other minorities have such backgrounds. Interestingly, the lady who asked this question, with whose permission I am sharing her remark, is the first and only person to have graduated college in her family, to date. She was the one who needed accolades for struggling out of generational poverty. I celebrated her grit and determination for making her way out of rural and damaging poverty. She was appreciative of the recognition I gave her for her success. Based on our open and honest discussion, we continue to have a great and even closer working relationship. I am grateful that she permitted me to share our exchange on this topic, in this article. Thank you, L., I am sharing this experience to encourage employees to stop being hyper-vigilant and hypersensitive about the misconceptions of well-meaning people. The workplace is a microcosm of the real world. If someone has a misconception about you, don’t judge them, just correct it. Do not immediately label such a person as unthinking or ignorant, or run away in fear because you feel they are out to “get” you. If you do so, you are just as culpable in the whole implicit bias bonanza, and are a part of the problem. Instead, have an open dialogue about such matters. Consider each human as a person not as a group statistic. On another note– if you encounter malevolent and cowards and bullies, who attack you based on whatever distinguishing characteristics they perceive you possess, do NOT engage them. Their remarks are an index of their own inadequacies, as any seasoned Clinical Psychologist, and extensive research on the issue would affirm. On Social Media or elsewhere, use your energy to spread a positive and uplifting message about EVERYONE. Ignore the bullies, and refuse to be a target of the lack of self-worth, which many of them do not know they possess. It is worth noting, that we have seen a documented spike in the number of complaints received by many organizations, about harassment of Muslims at work. It is the job of organizations to be vigilant and ensure such behaviors are not tolerated. Most dynamic companies have notified their employees that anti-Muslim rhetoric and discriminatory behavior will not be tolerated. All organizations should do the same. It is not a remotely financially beneficial practice to discriminate against anyone based on religion (or anything else). Such anti-religion discrimination reminders, also limit the probability of legal action on religious and other discrimination against any organization. It is also a helpful reminder to all employees, that as humans we should do the right thing to others, always. Make your fear constructive, and use it to propel yourself forward in your life. Please buy and read these books that I frequently recommend for self growth and professional success: “Fear” by J. Ibeh Agbanyim and “The Happiness Advantage” by Shawn Achor. The information in these two books will help most people develop a better sense of self, and provide guidance and sustained confidence on how to navigate their lives positively, both personally and professionally. Do your part, and get additional knowledge on how to thrive. Eleanor Roosevelt stated: “You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.” Live happy!
Who Are You, Where Are You Coming From, And Where Are You Going? January 29, 2017 by Sonia Johnson Every New Year people come up with New Year Resolutions. One of the greatest reasons people fail in following up on these resolutions, is because their resolutions are based on external motivations with NO in-depth knowledge of themselves. Most times, they do not create plans based on any real and tested desires. Instead, such resolutions are based on societal “expectations” of physical appearance, erroneous beliefs of the “drudgery of work” and general lack of robust knowledge about self and change. One lady told me recently that she was going to lose weight and get a new job as her two New Year Resolutions. However, in probing further, I found out that she had no strong or in-depth reasons for desiring these changes, and had no long term plans or methods of reaching her goals. She just did not like her weight or her job. Despite the fact that weight loss attached to appearance goals consistently fail, and leaving jobs without assessing your skills and abilities also fail, she repeatedly asserted that she would succeed. She could succeed, but her chances are very slim for any long term success. I did share with her the following ways to change one’s life to have meaning, purpose and joy: 1. Read BOOKS often. Read Good books on success, achieving professional improvement and self development etc. I always suggest a minimum of two books per month. The reason is simple. People, who write good books, spend time in providing information, guidelines and examples for success in your life or profession, in these books. The information in good books is mostly based on research and experience. Therefore, they enable you use such tested information to effect changes or improvements in your own life. Remember, year after year, you remain the SAME for the most part, except for the books you read (and a few other parameters). Nothing replaces learning for anyone who wants to be a success personally and professionally. Read good Books! 2. Assess the company that you keep. If you surround yourself with happy focused people at work, and away from work, you will probably have the same attitude as they do. Do not associate with toxic people whether they are overtly or covertly toxic, flee from them. I frequently assess my friendships and decide if they are working for me. Friends can bolster the quality of your life or decrease it. If any friendship, or relationship, does not provide mutually beneficial FOCUS and satisfaction to you both, it will not propel you forward to a life of meaning and joy. Assess it, and determine if it is worth retaining such relationships. 3. You cannot have lasting success at work, have good relationships, pursue your dreams, or live joyfully, if you do not know who you are. Trite as this may sound, it is critical to know yourself even as you improve your life— for you to have success and live a good life. Where do you start, if your perceived strengths and weaknesses are based on your upbringing, or rooted in the mindless societal screams spread by technology without basis in truth or fact? The quest for self knowledge is a consistent and constant one, and it is linked to a peaceful but determined commitment to examine your thoughts, knowledge and desires. Only people who know who they are can effectively determine where they will go and be successful. Your goals are strategically designed by you, based on your knowledge of you. So know yourself. Who are you? More than ever, we live in a society that is mob and conformity driven. This is because of the social media obsession with minutiae, lack of study and analysis of matters by many folks, a sensationalist media with little robust evidence based direction, and personal life styles which create little room for pursuing lasting purpose and meaning. In the midst of a society that sometimes is “zombie like” in behaviors, be brave, dare to be courageous in your quest for living a life of meaning, and affect others positively in the process. It is great to be different if you doing what you know is best for you. You will make mistakes, and have challenges, BUT your knowledge of you will give you the strength to regroup and move forward. It is okay to be visible, it is okay to think differently and it is okay to be analytical and focused. Quite simply, it is NECESSARY to be comfortable with positive behaviors, and meaningful use of your skills, that are uniquely you so that you can set achievable and meaningful goals for your life. Making a difference in the world starts with you. Let me end with this reminder. Everyday will run its course whether you decide to enjoy it or not. At the same time, your life is concomitantly running its course for the TERMINAL end, which all humans share. Is it not worth taking steps to know yourself, set professional and personal goals, and pursue the best life you can live? Can you not reject the mob cries and walk your own path? Is it not time to start reading good books regularly to craft a path for your life? Is the time not now? What are you waiting for? “The type of life you live daily, your daily happiness, sadness, and the quality of life you enjoy, are all defined by the choices you make in your thoughts and actions– every hour, every day.” Quote by Sonia Johnson Esquire—2010 (Law and Psychology Seminar—Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law, Arizona State University) Best wishes to you!